wishing on a star

once again today, i woke up with this horrible ache. in my stomach. it feels like something is wrong, far away. something i have no control over.

I am working on living in the present today. I really try to not think about tomorrow. Unless its something stupid (Dr. apt...shows...etc.) and I really want to be in the moment even. Its really hard to do. I have been turning it over all day and its only 11:28.

I feel great waves of loss today. I am not sure what is going on. Besides the people that i really care about and know me, are far away. And for some reason i cant seem to pick up the fucking phone.

oh an i hate the bank. they just charged me $36.00 x6 for over draft charges. So that means i am super broke again. I feel like i am spinning in this 730-4 wheel. I make just enough to cover my car payments and my rent and i cant go by a fucking pair of shoes if i wanted. How do people make it in this world sometimes? I work so i can have money to buy gas to go to work. nothing is fun anymore. I am in a shit hole.

thanks for listening.
no pretty pictures this day.

k