turn it around.

So i know my posts have been kinda on the downer side as of recent. But things may be on the upswing for this girl. I am in a spot now that with the economy the way it is...it may be better to keep my ass in Wisconsin until I find a job in Portland. I have applied to so many i cant keep track of them all anymore. But, i am still hopefull.

I am excited about going to see the Police and Elvis Costello tonight. I have seen Elvis before and it was super fun and the police...who knows. Thank god for craigslist. I got them at a pretty good price and it will be fun. It may rain, but i don't really care.

I feel pretty optimistic today. I have been doing what i need to stay sane. Its been really hard to do anything fun. But at least i feel more settled here now. I am going to keep looking for work in pdx and hopefully someday it will come together. But in the mean time...i am good here. I have been looking for a smaller place with heat included, so we will see. I may end up at the Shore crest. :) which is funny b/c everyone has lived there at some point.

7.28.08

So i had to leave this and start it again this Monday. So busy at work, i cant seem to get it all done. It may take me all day to write this.

I am going to tell a little story. So i had this friend i trusted. I told them things and they told me things, important things, we shared. And I saw this person had so much life in them. We like to do fun stuff and were always laughing. They made me feel at ease. And then today I come to find out that they were lying about something important. They looked me in the eyes, directly in the eyes and told me a lie. I wonder how people can do that. It makes me have little hope in people. Today I feel like only animals can be trusted and even then they may turn on you. But, people are fucked up and my alcoholic friends are even more fucked up. And just when you think you can trust again, someone fucks you over. And i have a feeling this person had been lying to me for awhile. My gut was telling me something was not right, and i pushed it away. I wanted to talk to them about it and they kept telling me bullshit.

So moral of the story? I want to be able to continue to trust people, but today I am leery.

k