money blows!

I hate being broke. I hate feeling like I am stuck here in Milwaukee. Sometimes i feel trapped. Like i need money to leave. Which i do. But, I also could use what i have saved and hope for the best? I am not going to do it. I have a great job and the money gets put into the bank every two weeks with out fail :)

good note: I paid off my car. Like i own my fucking car. That is totally wild to me. And its a good car. I made all my payments on time or early and never missed one in almost three years. That is a freakin' miracle.

other good note: I have been doing trades with people. I made a logo and some marketing stuff for my mechanic and he is fixing my car. I am doing a card for a nice girl and she will be training me at the gym for a month. Isn't that how things should work? Isn't that how it use to be back in the day? I have something you need and you have something I need. I like it.

other stuff (totally off subject): my father is in the hospital and is having surgery tonight @5pm. And as much as i wish i could be there, i kinda feel like it's better than i am not. I am really working on forgiving him for being such a shitty dad. I think in my own way and time I am forgiving him everyday, a little bit more. I have been writing him a letter for the past three years or so and maybe now is the time to wrap it up and send it. Or maybe i will just read it to my sponsor and burn it and be done. I am not in a position to cause anyone pain, even if i feel hurt by them. I don't want to live the kind of life where retaliating is how i make myself feel better. Its more important for me to done being in pain about a situation and move on. And my father being in the hospital has made me see that it may be time to heal. The pain and hurt is not hurting anyone but me, and i think i don't want to feel it anymore. enough of that.


I thought I had some photos. but i don't. So maybe next time.

chin up,
kai