So there is someone that has been over sharing. And I feel the need to get my side of the story out there now so that I can feel OK. I was beat down in a blog this morning. And it made me feel like people should keep things to them self’s or to the people close to them other than sharing them with the world. Something this person has done a lot of...
So here is my response to this. And i may also over share but, nobody reads my bullshit. so it's OK. :) And i gotta get this out. It's eating me up inside. I am really working on not telling someone right away how i feel.
Sometimes people get into relationships based on liking one another. And other times they may get into them out of convenience and stay in them out of convenience. And this is called settling.
I have been in both. And right now I am wanting to start a relationship with someone based on trust and the equality between the two of us. This person is great. They make me very happy. They have come from a really crappy relationship where they were not treated as an equal or I would go so far as to say they were someone’s punching bag. They were dumped on and used. And now they are just looking to be held and loved. And maybe I am not that person? But right now this person needs to be loved and nurtured. No more dumping shit on them. And the thing is I so don't want to be this person's everything and nor am I going to make them my everything. It's very unhealthy. I love spending time with them, but I will not make them my world. It's not smart. And as far as I see it something that kills the relationship.
The argument is that I am doing something TO this person's ex. I am not doing anything. They are in pain because of decisions they have made and are feeling sorry for them self’s. (Something they have ALWAYS done) It's getting old. And I am not going to be the reason for the pain. Its only b/c she doesn't want to look at the fact that it's over and this person is moving on. And just maybe they might be in a happy, equal relationship with someone who holds them in the highest regards.
I have spoke at length with this person and they agree, we are taking it slow. Trying our best to not repeat patterns. And being very aware of what is going on at all times. And that means having total open communication. And maybe it was not the most convenient time for this to happen, but this person has been out of this relationship for along time and it is time to move on.
Me and this person's ex were never close. She is a user and a taker. She sucks people dry and then wonders why she is so sad and friendless. And the sad thing is that I think she does not even know she is doing it. I remember one of the first times we hung out. We all went out to dinner and she orders all this food and was like "I don't have any money" and we all had to pay. And it was always like this. She is a depressed person who is always looking for a handout. Like she is entitled to it. Like we owe her. And I am no longer going to keep quiet about it. I think she preys on people she sees as weak. Like her ex for example. this person is great and was so willing to take all her shit, that they is now a shell of themselves. And its exciting and fun to see this other person being revealed. A great person that is learning themselves.
I have no problem walking away, if I knew it would hurt this persons sobriety or the work they was doing. They mean a lot to me, but its more important for them to have these other things.
I realize there is an unspoken code to not date your friends exes. But this person was someone I knew not someone that I was really friends with. She knows little about me because I wanted to steer clear of people who are takers. And that being said, I like this person and regardless of what happens we will be friends.
Kai
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